Positive Psychology Coaching (PPC) is a scientific approach to increasing well-being, enhancing and utilising personal strengths, improving performance and achieving personal goals, but the great ones know how negativity can boost coaching results, surprisingly.
Positivity is life-changing and feels good. But that's not all. People who experience at least three times as much positivity as negativity are not only happier, they are more successful, more generous, healthier and have more harmonious relationships.
How can negativity help?
We have a coach, called Wanda, who was new to positive psychology coaching. One of Wanda's first clients was a middle manager at a toy company who wanted to move up the corporate ladder. Wanda coached him with a lot of positivity and he gradually achieved his goal, but when he was about to move up the ladder, he got fired.
What happened? Wanda's client had interpersonal problems of which he was not aware. Wanda noticed them during the coaching sessions, but didn't want to focus on the negative aspects, so she never mentioned them. These problems angered her boss, disrupted the whole department and even made her team less productive. One person can send a workplace into a spiral that can negatively affect the whole company.
Positive thinking cannot magically solve a toxic situation if it is not fully addressed. This means you have to deal with the negativity.
Three to one positivity ratio?
Another way of putting it is that 75% positivity to 25% negativity is the door to fulfillment. You can go further, say up to 90% positivity, but beyond that you and your clients will be plunged into a multitude of unnecessary problems.
What kind of problems?
Negativity wakes us up when something is wrong (Boyatzis, 2011), but incessant positivity waltzes us straight into our worst nightmares, just like Wanda's client.
Positivity expands our awareness, but negativity reduces our focus on what needs to be done (Boyatzis, 2011).
People who are consistently positive sometimes coast when they need to work. For example: Children who are told they need to work get better grades than those who are told they are smart, because 'smart' children often do not try as hard (Dweck, 2006).
How can negativity help?
Negativity toughens us up and helps us develop grit. People who persevere through difficulties, are more likely to succeed (Duckworth, 2016).
Negativity is designed to push us to meet our needs, so that we can survive. Whereas positivity is more useful in helping us achieve growth and ideals (Boyatizis, 2011). Interpersonal problems often arise from unmet needs (Maslow, 1962).
Survival comes before growth. We need to reach a critical mass in meeting our needs before we can effectively focus on growth (Maslow, 1962).
Steps to review from Wanda
Be a coach who is naturally positive, but never overrides concerns.
Help the client to meet their needs in a sustainable way.
Ask the client tough questions, the ones they are afraid to ask (and the ones no one else will mention).
Help the client to bring positivity into their relationships. Train them to ask more, listen more and look for what works before focusing on what doesn't, except in an emergency.
Be honest. Holding back your observations is never fair to your clients.
Help the client to develop beyond their immediate goals. Once needs are met, growth becomes possible and this is what propels clients to extraordinary success.
These are just a few examples of how Wanda could have greatly enhanced the value of her positive psychology coaching.
Emotional intelligence
This focus on the importance of negativity is sometimes called the second wave of positive psychology, but it is not new. Emotional intelligence has always looked at the full range of emotions to help people be more successful in their relationships and work. This is particularly important for leaders, as they influence everyone they lead. But let's be clear: everyone is a leader at some point, and humans all need emotional intelligence to maintain harmonious relationships.